Grocery Shopping, Kitchen, Eating

Another organization problem area is grocery lists. My parents don’t keep one. But the larger issue is that my dad has taken over the grocery shopping. This has been going on several years. When my sister and I found out, we explained to our dad that “the one doing the cooking needs to do the shopping so they get what they want and need.”

But he likes to shop. However, he will buy what he likes according to the picture on the product. Meal planning doesn’t enter the picture. Mom stopped going to the store with him since he took control of the cart and questioned everything she added to it.

They eat out a lot which is good since my dad complains about cooked meals. Mom has stopped most cooking. Even when I cook for them, my dad complains “it’s too hot,” “it’s too spicy,” “why didn’t you add this to it,” “next time you need to do it this way.”

A strange food story is the time I said something about a bag of rice. My dad looked at me quizzically. “A bag of rice?” I got a bag of rice out of the cabinet and showed him what I meant. Had he never seen a bag of rice? Did he not know that uncooked rice came in bags? Had he never thought about how rice is cooked? Had he just momentarily drawn a blank?

Then, there’s his obsession with kitchen knives. Mom has used the same paring knife and kitchen utility knife all my life. She keeps them laying behind the sink faucet and uses them every day. My dad saw a commercial on TV about a new ceramic knife and he bought one for mom to use. She didn’t want it and didn’t use and that made my dad mad. I explained to him that a cook’s knife is very important and personal to them since they use it a lot. They know what they like. Had he never paid attention to mom’s activities in the kitchen? Thinking back over the years, the answer is “maybe not, no.”

This is an example of my lack of paying attention to what was happening in my own home growing up. I was incognizant of behavior that I took for granted: mom cooked, my dad ate, my sister and I washed the dishes. I never realized that my dad paid no attention to the pots and pans, dishes, or utensils used. He had no role whatsoever in the kitchen. I took it for granted and paid it no attention. I ignored it just as he ignored the kitchen.

I wonder about all this and think “what a weird household I grew up in. How has it affected me?”