Cluster

My friend texted me that my mom was locked out of the house. My friend said that my mom was at her mom’s house (which is across from my parents’ house). My friend lives two hours from her mom, and I live 1500 miles from both. Communications technology these days is awesome.

I knew mom had gone off to a church meeting that morning, so this scenario was plausible. I called to see if mom had gotten back in the house. When my dad answered the phone and said she was there, I knew all was better and moved on to another matter. I asked if mom had a doctor appointment for her bruised shoulder.

He said: “I called this morning. Absolutely a crime. A damn shame.”

“Where’s the appointment?” I asked.

“You know where McDonald’s is on highway so-and-so?”

Me: “What’s the doctor’s name?”

“If you’ll wait a minute!” Pause. “You turn next to the McDonald’s. It’s on the left.”

Pause. “I called this morning. And then some girl comes on the phone. Uh, what’s here name? I put it some place. Where is it?”

Is it an orthopedic doctor?

“Proctologist I think it is. I can’t read it. Where are my glasses? I’m going nuts around here!”